I got a jury summons the other day. I've only been summoned one other time ever, and that was just a few weeks after my youngest daughter was born. So, I've been working on a list of ways to get out of jury duty. Here are some of my ideas. Please feel free to give me your best ideas too.
1. The Bailiffs handcuffs are turning me on!
2. Is it me, or does the defendant bear a striking resemblance to (fill in the blank with any famous serial killer, my choice is Charles Manson)
3. I smell Bacon!!!!
4. I can tell if someone is guilty just by looking.
5. The voices in my head are telling me, that the defendant is kinda cute.
6. Do you think the arresting officer could do anything about my 245 unpaid parking tickets? Yes?!
7. Badges! We don't need no stinkin' badges!
8. Is that a gavel in your pocket or are you happy to see me?? Rowr!
9. Will you take notes for me? I have Narcolepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
10. You Want the Truth? You Can't Handle the Truth!!!