Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Lionhearted by Diana Palmer

# 14 title with an animal

rated 3

pgs 187

His Winter Bride . . .? As the holiday season approached, the residents of Jacobsville were whispering about Janie Brewster's hopeless crush on Leo Hart. Up till now, all her efforts to lasso the dynamic cattleman had crumbled quicker than those mouthwatering biscuits that Hart men coveted. However, this time the starry-eyed debutante had come up with the perfect self-improvement campaign to dazzle Leo -- she'd become a courageous cowgirl! Still, her sudden transformation seemed to rouse Leo's formidable temper more than ever. But wait... was it hot-blooded hunger -- not dark disdain -- that gleamed in his eyes when they melted into those smoldering kisses beneath the mistletoe? Could the last Hart bachelor be on the verge of taking Janie as his bride?

Pet Peeve Alert

this teaser doesn't tell you anything about this story. It leads you down a wrong direction.

The holiday season has nothing to do with nothing. The residents of Jacobsville weren't whispering about anything except Leo getting drunk and jealous of Janie, not the other way around. Leo, isn't mad about Janie becoming a courageous cowgirl, but that he was told by her best friend Marilee (and with friends like who need enemies!) that Janie was spreading rumors etc. They didn't kiss beneath any mistletoe, and were married by christmas. Ugh! I hate it when the teaser lies!

**soapbox put away! For Now***

Why do I read Diana Palmer? It's like looking at a car wreck on the highway. I don't want to look, and yet somehow, I can't help myself. Her books are always the same. Hero-Older more experienced wealthy rancher (or merc! ) who vows never to marry for some dumb-butt reason! (pardon my francais!) Also, only likes women who have no (I mean NO) ambition professionally. Heroine- Young (sometimes barely 20) poor, virginal, hopelessly in love with hero, woman, who has "old fashioned" values meaning that all she aspires to is to cook and clean and raise children. (which is great sometimes to have a maternal character, but seriously everywoman in town, has no professional aspirations? Seriously?) There will come some point in the story where Hero will verbally abuse the the heroine, for being plain/poor/innocent/....Ack! It's always for her own good, mind you! Or, or, or, or, He will tell some 3rd party how awful said heroine is , while she walks into the room to overhear him. Akward!

***soapbox returns***

These women are soooooo innocent that he kisses them, and they are stunned! What?! Who Knew! He "makes a strong pass" and she's scarred for life! She has to(leave town, quit her job, quit school, Hide out ) to avoid the memory of his kisses and groping! He molds his body to her, so that his "physical response" is obvious and she's never seen or felt or heard of anything. "Does it hurt?" She asks. As if the school system in Texas does not teach a health class in High School that covers basic reproduction. (I know they do, cuz I'm a product of that school system. and they taught health class even in the 80's)

While I'm on the topic, did you know that most men, "MUST" rest immediately after "relations"? Yup! Seems most men, need a sandwich and a nap, just to survive! However, these Jacobsville men, are that small percentage who are capable of multiple-O's. And several of them are soooooo well endowed that "most" women can't take all of them. SERIOUSLY! Also, an epidemic in Jacobsville, is that several women need to have a minor medical procedure to ready them for their Wedding Night! yep!

I originally gave this a 3.5 cuz I knew exactly what I was going to get, when I picked it up. But now that I've vented, I can't really give it a 3.5. It's got to me more of a 3 maybe even 2.5. I'll say 3 cuz, If I didn't want this sort of book, I shouldn't have picked it.

Ms. Palmer is a decent writer, but Criminy, get a new formula. These women need a pair, (if ya know what I mean!) I come from a town very much like this one in her stories, and I gotta say, the women I knew, and saw everyday wouldn't put up with the crap these guys dish out. they'd have tarred and feathered their butts, and told them "what for". Then sat down with a girlfriend and "God Blessed" their pitiful souls to death. Cuz, you know when a southern woman is talking about someone and says "God Bless 'em" it is not cuz they sneezed. (for instance. "Uncle Cletus, God Bless 'em, is a sorry fiddle player" it softens the blow! )

If you like, weak women and super alpha males. you'll like Diana Palmers Long Tall Texan series.
***soapbox is now smoking and deserves a rest! ***

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